A Heavy Heart

My darling daughter and her hubby got sucker-punched yesterday. It has left them reeling. All of their greatest fears were confirmed when they found out that his daughter from a previous relationship has not been on vacation. Her mother has taken her out of the state and relocated halfway across the country. They are not coming back, and the mother says he will never see his daughter again. For months on end, this woman has been lying, plotting, scheming, and deceiving them.

The resemblance between daddy and his daughter and son are amazing - especially when you realize that these kids have different moms. This is a good man who has been involved in this little girls' life since the day she was born. I cannot for the life of me comprehend how a mother could let her daughter have a relationship with her daddy for five years, and then one day take her away and tell her that she can't see him anymore.

I was awake late into the night, after talking with my daughter, thinking about this mess. I grew up knowing that my biological 'father' had left my mom before I was ever born. And he never tried to contact me or be part of my life. My daughter's husband is not like that - he has been a father to this little girl in every way he possibly could. He didn't walk away from his responsibilities or his pride in being a father. My daughter has made her a part of their family, loving her as completely as she does her own son - she even threw birthday parties for her and hosted the mother's entire extended family in her home. As grandparents, we have welcomed and loved her as our granddaughter, even though we have only seen her no more than a dozen times in four years.

And oh, how my grandson loves his sister. She was his favorite playmate. My daughter says he calls for her, wanders through the house looking for her. It's been well over a month since they've seen or talked to her, and now this news comes via email from a cowardly and selfish woman who refuses to let them know where she is. How do you explain that to an almost three year old little brother? Heck, someone explain it to ME.

It's a very complicated situation (the mom IS the custodial parent) and while they don't have money for a lawyer, they are looking into what options they may have. This woman has wreaked unbelievable havoc in their lives for over four years, but this is the worst thing they could have imagined happening. My heart hurts for them, for him, for this little girl who is most likely being told all kinds of lies about her daddy, her 'evil stepmother' (yes, that term has been used a LOT), and her little brother. How heavy is HER heart? That's the worst part of all.

Oh, how I'd love to plaster a huge photo of my granddaughter here and ask you to be on the lookout for her anywhere in Texas. I'd love to publish the name and photo of the woman who has done this horrible thing to a little girl and an entire family. But I can't and won't.

All I can do is pray. For my daughter's broken heart to heal, for my 'son' to have the wisdom to know what response is best, for my grandson's little heart to be protected, and for my granddaughter's little heart to remember that her daddy, her second mommy, her brother, and her grandmas & grandpas and aunts and uncles love her... no matter what she may hear from someone else. Lord, please protect Miss H and keep her in your loving care....

Let There Be Lights...

We spent a bit of time yesterday enjoying the gorgeous fall weather, while getting some chores done. A bit of cleaning up, then it was time to start readying for a new season... I love making changes that fit how we use our spaces at different times of the year.

The back deck has been restyled for fall, with the big white sail sunshades removed (the afternoon wind has returned and it was wreaking havoc on them). We replaced them with strands of white lights to add a nice warm glow to the space. We brought two Adirondack chairs up from the firepit onto the deck, and now it's a great spot for extending our days into the evening dusk.

The view from our Master Suite.... I just love how these lights warm it up and make it feel like a room. With music playing softly on our outdoor speakers, it's a party every night! (Reminds me of a very fun evening at my mom's years ago when I helped her throw a party on her back patio... we even had fun cleaning up after the party!!)

The view to the barns & pastures. Perfect any time of day..... just guess where I am typing this?!! ;0)

Image Credits: All photos by Deb Kennedy, copyright 2009.
All rights reserved; duplication or retransmission of any part of this post not permitted without express written permission from the author.

Poppin' In....

Hey, girls, I'm in the mood for a day of shopping.... and I thought perhaps I'd bring you all along for a mini-Girls Day Out trip. Anyone in?!

Let's visit Poppyseeds in Stanwood, Washington, which is one of my favorite spots for many reasons - like the owners, cousins MaryBeth & Julie Sande. Two of the coolest and sweetest gals you'll ever meet! They indulge me every once in a while when I come in and rearrange the whole flippin' store. Like I did this week... MaryBeth and I worked on Tuesday to reset the whole front room for fall. We had a blast and it's just SO ready for a party!

When you walk in, the first thing you see is WitchiePoo. Belinda. Samantha. Whatever. We can't decide on a name for her, so we'll just call her Miss Witch! She welcomes you to the party...and she's wearing a SPOOKtacular hat with detachable and custom-made(by yours truly) 'Halloween Queen' crown. (Yes, it's for sale!)


Here's the party scene on the left side of the shop. And on the right side....

Mmmmhmmmmmn. Miss Foofy Sofa! Check out the close-up below:

She's just elegant and swanky and soooooo comfy. (She's so seductive that I fear Julie will be napping on her. If you covet her, get in there!!! Miss A posted on her blog that she will not be taking Miss Foofy Sofa home with her, so now's your chance!)

Another fall vignette... LOVE the splash of orange.

So then, yesterday, I went in and Julie assisted me in a revamp of 'the Red Room' which has been sporting a Beach Cottage theme all summer. Now, it's Holiday Central. I know, I know, but it's retail and we have to jump on the bandwagon even if we don't like the fact that it's here too early! ;0) I poofed & foofed and loaded it up with a white tree and happy red, white, & green goodies. Julie had a big box of ornaments and ribbon waiting for me, and when I started going thru it I discovered that the ribbon was a perfect match to the huge spool I had brought with me - not planned!


It felt like Christmas - until I walked outside into the 80 degree heat!

On Tuesday, MaryBeth and I moved everything from the front room into 'the Middle Room'. It was dark and boring.... not anymore! Now it's known as 'The Party Room' and it is just a happy place full of color and sweetness. We love it and have some stellar ideas for holiday additions to it - coming soon!

There's a huge room at the back that we didn't really do alot to - just a shuffle to fit in a big cabinet from the front. So no photos of that yet. Later we'll tackle that area, which holds two themes, and freshen it up for holiday. (One of which will be 'black & white holiday glam'. Oh yeah!)

My 'Retreat Room' in the shop is filled with our take on warm & welcoming Danish/Swedish/Euro-style decor, and has been a huge hit with the local Norwegian community. Most of them are not aware that this is the 'trend-of-the-moment', but respond to their emotional connection with the colors and softness. They grew up with this, and are amazed when they hear that it is in magazines and what everyone is coveting now!


We'll feature this decor style through Halloween, then we'll switch it all up for a new look for the Holidays. Still workin' on that......

Well, did you see anything you liked on our visit?!
If you are local, you can buzz up to Poppyseeds and see it all for yourself - check their blog for location and hours of operation. And tell Julie that Deb sent you! (If you come up tomorrow, Saturday, don't miss the Giant Garage sale with hundreds of dealers at the Skagit Valley Fairgrounds in Mount Vernon. It's just 10 minutes North of Stanwood)

All photos by Deb Kennedy, by permission of Poppyseeds.
All rights reserved; duplication or retransmission of any part of this post not permitted without express written permission from the author.

Come Swim With Me....

My husband took me on a boat ride today....and we had no sooner pulled away from the Anacortes Ferry dock when the ship slowed to a stop. Looking starboard, we saw the amazing sight in these photos he snapped.....

These were the Orcas of the J & K local pods... over 30 of them, called a 'Super Pod' when combined like this.... casually swimming, fluking, spinning, spyhopping, and breaching just 40 feet to starboard.

When the ferry stopped, we all spent fifteen minutes of sheer heaven watching these glorious creatures play.... and not one person of the hundreds aboard the ferry complained about the late arrival to the Friday Harbor dock!

We've lived here 15 years and seen Orcas a few times - two or three at a time, maybe. At a great distance. But this? Incredible. Even the ferry staff said it was unheard of. We are just glad we decided not to rush to the 8 AM ferry this morning, and caught the later one. ;0)

I love this guy.... it's like he's popping up to say 'Bye Bye!' as we pull away.....

Deja Vu?

A week ago, we included this b.e.a.utimous French-style vintage sofa in our offerings at the French Flea Market. She was admired, whispered about, and then purchased - by a very sweet lady. Others sighed in defeat as they saw the sold sign, and then watched her leave. Well, through a very serendipitous and convoluted series of events, this suave and stylish vintage sofa is now AVAILABLE again!!!!!

She went home with Miss V. But didn't quite fit. So, Miss V put her on Craigslist. MaryBeth saw the ad, told me about it, and asked if I wanted it back. I have NO WHERE to store it, so I said no. Then MB asked if it was OK with me if she got the sofa and put it in her shop. I sad yes, she did, and it's at Poppyseeds now! A very special girl, Miss A, admired the sofa at the show, so I told MB that she might still want it. MB emailed Miss A to tell her it's in the store. If Miss A doesn't come get it quick, she can be all yours!

As a matter of fact, we are rearranging furniture tomorrow morning to make miss sofa the star in the front room, along with a plethora of fun fall & Halloween decor! And then, you can take her home with you!

Sweet Sweater Pumpkin Time!

One of my darling readers, MaryEllen, left me a comment to ask if she could re-post a previous post on her blog about my sweet sweater pumpkins tutorial. (Confusing?! She posted it last year - with permission - and wanted to do so again). You can find her blog post about my sweet sweater pumpkins here.

I do want to thank Mary once again for contacting me to ask if it was OK to use my original tutorial link and a few of my photos of my pumpkins. Now THAT is how it's done! Manners - what a delightful and refreshing change from the content theft garbage I am dealing with on my other two blogs. sigh.
ANYway, since I was planning to share the tutorial again here on my own blog, I'll do that now! You can find the step-by-step tutorial for making my darling little creations here. I had some of them at the French Flea Market and they sold like wildfire, so I am currently working on gathering materials so I can make more for the October 11th Sand Point Antique & Design Market. I'm even going to make some from burlap! ;0)

Image Credits: Debi Ward Kennedy/Retreat Design 2007 and 2009; All Rights Reserved. All other use prohibited without express permission.

I love this quote by Walt Disney. Actually, I love ANY quote from Walt. He is a source of major inspiration for me, and has been all of my life. I so wish that I had met him while my grandfather was working for him, building Disneyland. You know that statue of Walt, holding Mickey's hand, that stands in the circle at the end of Main Street in front of Sleeping Beauty's Castle at Disneyland? I have a recurring dream that it is my hand, as a little redheaded girl, that Walt is holding while he points out the spectacle of creativity around him. It's like a pep talk from one of my idols when I have it, and it really charges me up with creative energy.

This particular quote is one that I have on my inspiration board, to remind me daily of the necessity of courage. There is fearless courage, of course, the kind called upon in times of trouble that saves lives and protects the innocent. There is the serious devoted courage that wells up from within the souls of those faced with unimaginable challenges. Then there is the quiet, unassuming everyday courage that dwells within the hearts of those who refuse to give in or give up on their ideals, visions, goals, and dreams. None are more important than others, for all contribute to a better world.

So many times, each of us come to that place where we think we just can't fight anymore to go one more step. We are tired and worn out and frustrated and ready to throw in the towel, and just live 'lives of quiet desperation' as Thoreau said ("The mass of men lead lives of quiet desperation." Henry David Thoreau, 'Walden', 1854). It is usually then that from somewhere deep within us, we feel a growing, knowing sense of courage begin to well up. It won't let us quit. It won't let us give up on ourselves, on the possibilities that lie within us and within our dreams. It is hope, it is faith, and it fills us with a willingness to get up just.one.more.time and take one.more.step.forward toward that goal.

There have been recent days when I have cried and wished with all my heart that I had limitless financial resources to make the way easier, for me and for those I love. I have felt physical exhaustion and mental stress and dearly hoped for a knight in shining armour to whisk me off to a warm tropical island for a six month sabbatical from the impact of reality. I have pondered the decisions facing me about our business, and stared out the window as I visualize what we hope and plan to accomplish here. But we aren't quite 'there' yet.

That's where the courage part comes in.

We've come this far, and I can't get tired and disillusioned and give up now. On Sunday, tired and sore and stressed out, I sarcastically asked Bob 'Can't I just have that option for just one freakin' day? Just one day where I can pretend that I could disappear into oblivion if I wanted to and be a woman who lives on the planet in obscurity, and doesn't build a business or write an article or a blog or give a seminar, or have to deal with all the crap that comes along with that?' And he said NO.

He's right! I signed on for this journey and I have to take every step on it myself. No one can do it for me. Yes, I can get help and support and lean on someone now and again, and that 'limitless financial resource' idea is sure something I won't give up hope for, but I have to keep walking toward the goal. I have to have the courage to pursue my dreams. Because they were given to me for a reason, and that reason is WAY bigger than me. Believe me, if that's all it was about, I'd have quit long ago! (Can I add here that that very night I clicked into the Farm Chicks blog and read about Teri's retirement.... and was jealous of her for exercising her right to direct her life back to a private place? I am sure that was no easy decision for her, or Serena. I wish them both much success and happiness as they each take their next step - separately.)

Have you ever seen 'Meet the Robinsons'? It's a great Disney animated film from a story by William Joyce. There is a slogan that appears throughout the story's narrative: "Keep Moving Forward". At the end of the credits after the film, that slogan appears onscreen again in its entirety:

"Around here, however, we don’t look backwards for very long. We keep moving forward, opening up new doors and doing new things… and curiosity keeps leading us down new paths.”
- Walt Disney

Curiosity, and courage. Thanks, Walt.
Sometimes we just need someone to hold our hand and remind us...

Aftermath

This is my FAVE shot of our booth display yesterday.
I am happy with how our space looked, even after a whirlwind four hour setup/load in starting at 6 AM. CRAZINESS. I caught snippets of conversation that echoed across the parking lot from other booths during the process, and it was quite funny: 'No not there THERE; No not that THAT; yes; no; I DON'T CARE; just DO IT; would you HURRY!; aaaaauuuuugggghhhh!!!; WHY are we doing this again?; I AM trying; I give UP; Over.. just a ....tich....THAT way; ' are just a few of the phrases that were repeated ad infinitum. Verbal skills get lost when concentrating on setup! And oh, it's even worse at tear down. No talking. Too tired.


There's a bit more on our Retreat blog, with more to come as soon as I get a grip. A 21 hour workday (up at 4 AM and falling into bed at 1 AM the next day) has taken its toll. Deb needs a day to laze in the sunshine (despite getting a sunburn yesterday) drink iced tea, and sleeeeeep. Tomorrow we'll unload some of the stuff from the trailer, to restock our poor empty room at Poppyseeds. But today? I got Nuthin'.

Come to think of it, that was ALSO one of the phrases I heard a few times yesterday morning!

PS:........ I'm having a bad day and am just really so very tired of a lot of things right now. I need to take some time out of all of this 'out in public' stuff for a while to rest and get some perspective. Back soon. Take care.....

Up for a Breath

Didn't fall off the planet, just crazy busy preparing for the show tomorrow... and seriously, even tho we are faced with a harried four hour setup in the morning, (do you even know how hard that is for me, a detail-obsessed display diva? huh?!) we feel like this will be one of our best Retreat booths yet. SO many awesome treasures with French Flair to share with you! Please come see us if you are in the area:

Haley's Cottage Presents
A French Flea Market at the Clocktower
15021 Main Street in Mill Creek Town Center
Mill Creek Washington 98012

10:00 AM 'till 8:00 PM

Busy Bees....

Just a few sneak peeks at what I spent my weekend workin' on, for Saturday's French Flea Market...


I am not allowed to show any sneak peeks of what Bob has been creating in the shop all weekend. (But OMG, he even amazed ME with this stuff! Really fabulous.) Tuesday morning, we'll deliver the swanky white Piano Bar to Haley's Cottage Boutique in Mill Creek, where she'll be starring in a new display!

Parlez Vous Francaise?

Whether or not you speak or decorate in le French style, You won't want to miss the French Flea Market at the Clock Tower in Mill Creek, Washington next weekend!

Presented by Haley's Cottage, a gorgeous home decor boutique in Mill Creek Town Center, this open air market will feature dozens of fabulous vendors offering their beautiful wares in inspiring settings. We'll be there, with a Retreat Collection of fabulous fall inspiration in cream, ivory, wheat, white, and gold with a smidgen of mossy green just for good measure. From one of a kind furnishings to home accessories and seasonal decorating inspirations, we'll be packing out our HUGE space (we're using the 20X20 Taj MaTent, people!) with everything you need to prepare your rooms for the change of season.

The show opens at 10 AM and runs until 8 PM - lots of time for you to come shop the market, browse the other shops in the Center, and enjoy all of the wonderful restaurants -including FROST donuts! For more info, click here. We hope to see you there!

Stormy Weather

Last year, this weekend brought a huge storm to the area. We were staying on the Island (prior to moving here) and even with the inclement weather, we enjoyed the weekend, anyway. This year, we are battening down the hatches here at Retreat Farm, listening to KEXP radio, and weathering some pretty high winds already - with more to come, according to the forecast. It's a bit unnerving, but then we don't have too many trees that could come crashing down on us! I guess we just need to remember that this is what Labor Day weekend looks like (much like the Fourth of July is usually cold & rainy).

So to those of you enjoying sunny days and Labor Day weekend barbeques, we salute you!

Bubba's Bad Day

That sweet little cherub face belongs to my grandson Jameson. He's in Texas with mommy & daddy, and I don't get to see him much. Days like today make that absolute torture. You see, Lil' Dude had a pretty rough day today. And when baby has a rough day, you can just bet that mommy & daddy aint' havin' fun, either.

Seems he sustained a bit of a head injury this morning - nothing horrific, but if you've had kids, you know that means blood. (Head injuries just seem to always look worse than they are.) The requisite howling, panic, trip to the hospital emergency room, and stress ensued.... and then it got really bad. Seems the hospital was less than stellar with their treatment plan, and made things worse. So following a frantic call to the pediatrician, off they all went to yet another hospital - and they are still there. It's been one very long day of hospital mayhem. Both mommy & daddy are at the end of their proverbial ropes right now, and Jameson is tired, cranky, hurting, and according to daddy, looking worse than he did after the initial injury.

*Edited to add: I just heard from my son. They are finally on the way home with a sleeping boy in the carseat, after what turned out to be a very reassuring and positive experience at the Methodist Hospital Childrens' Ward. Wrongs were righted, solutions were found, tempers were soothed, and treatment was given with compassion and skill. Mr JMan's boo boos are now under control by the skilled hands of what my son calls 'the best doctor on earth'. They've decided they will never visit 'that OTHER hospital in San Antonio' and will drive the extra distance to this one for Jameson's next trip to the ER. I hope that is not any time soon!*

Grammy just wishes she was there to sooth frazzled nerves, cuddle poor baby, and let his parents get some much-needed rest. But I know they'll all be OK, and that in the end this just means that JMan has a head start on his collection of scars to brag about later in life... but it's awfully hard to be this far away.

Surrender...

It’s no use. I can’t fight it any more. It’s useless to ignore what is right in front of me, so I am throwing in the towel and surrendering. Summer’s over. Fall is here. We may or may not get a resurgence of the wonderful sunny hot weather known as an 'Indian Summer' – it’s been known to happen – but even if we do, it’s still Fall.

It’s not that I don’t like Fall. I do…

Fall is like a gorgeous redhead, her russet tresses blowing in the wind. Her amber eyes reflect the late afternoon sun, and glow with the depth of flames in a fire at days’ end. She tantalizes me with the scent of fresh rain on fallen leaves. She wakes me up to see the golden glow of a misty morning, when the sun sneaks along behind the fog. She tempts me with warm afternoons that melt into cool dusks and starry skies.

I just wasn’t ready for Summer to go yet.

Summer is a caramel blonde, drifting on a soft breeze… warm and sunny, filled with energy, playful and distracting. She coaxed me into hours of lying or sitting on the beach, telling me it was OK to write articles with my toes in the sand or research projects while sitting on my porch swing. She crafted a careful romance with her 5 AM sunrises, bringing me sunbeams that stole into my window and landed on my cheek to awaken me along with the birds singing in the trees. She filled my days with brilliance and warmth, and ended them with orange sherbet-colored sunsets at 11 PM, wrapping me in her embrace. One day she was here, and the next….. just a whisper.

They are my friends, the Seasons, and since I only get to see them once a year, I like to spend as much time with each one as I can. Time seems to fly so quickly, though, and we never really finish our visits before each needs to take her leave.

Except Winter. She always shows up earlier than invited and overstays her welcome. She's an old woman with scraggly long gray hair and bland, disheveled clothes who has no where else to go. She's cold and distant and inhospitable. I really dread her visits because it's just hard to connect with her - maybe that's why Fall's arrival gives me pause. I just know that Winter will come knocking next....