Home

“Home is a name, a word, it is a strong one; stronger than magician ever spoke, or spirit ever answered to, in the strongest conjuration.” Charles Dickens

"Home, the spot of earth supremely blest, A dearer, sweeter spot than all the rest.” Robert Montgomery

"There is a magic in that little world, home; it is a mystic circle that surrounds comforts and virtues never known beyond its hallowed limits." Robert Southey

We are still in limbo, still waiting for forces beyond our control {God, a buyer, and a secondary buyer, an owner, and several inspectors, real estate agents, et al} to determine the decision about who will own and occupy this property. Though communication has been absent lately, byy the end of this week, there should be some word. 

It's hard being in this place... both figuratively and physically. 

It simultaneously brings us unearthly joy and hellish pain. The morning and evening sunshine across the pastures and tall trees make me weep with joy and sadness. The cloudless skies make us long to see our resident eagles again, even though we know that their presence would make us sorrowful because we will miss them so when we are gone. Tears are a common occurrence for us right now, as are spontaneous sighs, big embraces, long gazes out at the pastures & barns, and endless prayers. 

We have, by grace alone, not given up hope that there could be some miracle delivered by the hand of God in time to keep us here. We have once again found faith to cling to His promises to us, and strength to stand on His ability to solve this puzzle. From the day in 2008 that we turned 'A certain corner on a certain road on a certain Island', we have seen the grand vision of what this place can be and watched God provide for us as we moved forward, step by step. We have achieved only a small part of that in all that we have done here with Retreat and Petite Retreat. There is so much MORE. More that we see, have planned for, can do, and long to experience here.

But we have also begun to understand that although it is utterly confusing and very painful, His plan may in fact mean us leaving this place - this farm in a perfect location, by the sea, on our island, with everything we ever dreamed of and needed... Everything to grow our business into all that we know it can be - for us and for all of our friends in the vintage industry. Everything that we always wanted to provide for our four kids, our three grandsons, our parents, and extended family. Everything we need to live here into our old age, being part of the community and passing on traditions and this perfect place - our Retreat - to our children and their children. 

People tell me that if this door is closing, then God has something better for us. Forgive me, but I just can't see anything better than this. This is every dream come true for us. 

But still, we're discussing plan A (staying) and plan B (leaving).

We're thinning out possessions, collecting boxes and organizing as we prepare to pack. We're stripping the house and outbuildings of all of the personal touches that we have added over the last two years that we have lived here. It's a sad process, this 'Letting Go and Letting God'. And should God choose to deliver a miracle, allowing us to stay, all this work just means that we'll be ready to repaint and landscape and repair and do all of the things we have SO longed to do to this place. If not, we'll be holding a killer yard sale and sending everything we want to keep to storage. And we'll pull out of the long driveway for the last time.

Then we'll probably head to Texas, to spend some time with our daughter & her hubby, and our son, his wife, and our grandson - who is nearly two and has only seen us twice in his life. Time to rest, reconnect with them, look for answers and resources, and hopefully figure out just what we need to do and where to do it, when we return to the PNW. That's one option, anyway. We're just too exhausted in every way to make clear decisions right now. 

Thank you to all of our friends and family who continue to pray on our behalf, and are asking if anything is happening.... something is ALWAYS happening, my dears, we just can't see it or know what it is! As soon as we do know, we'll tell you: We have two letters ready to go - one with happy announcements about the future, and one saying goodbye to our dream, to Retreat, to a life we so wanted. 

I am really hoping I get to post the first one.