every day a special day

i thank You God for this most amazing day.

for the leaping greenly spirits of trees
and a blue dream of sky;
and for everything
which is natural which is infinite which is yes

(i who have died am alive again today,
and this is the sun’s birthday;
this is the birth
day of life and love and wings;
and of the gay great happening ilimitably earth)

how should tasting touching hearing seeing
breathing any – 
lifted from the no of all nothing – 
human merely being doubt unimaginable You?

(now the ears of my ears awake and
now the eyes of my eyes are opened)

e.e. cummings

once upon a time
 a long time ago
i chose this day for something special.
it was special for many years
...
and then when life crashed in
and the bottom fell out,
this day lost all of its meaning.

the thought of this day over the past year
(yes, it's just two weeks short of a year....)
has broken my heart.

however,

today

i am grateful

for being able to remember the good

and be happy

for being able to think of the bad

and not be angry

for being able to see the past

and not be sad

to hope for the future

and not be afraid.

today
 i embrace peace. 

i am grateful for love.

i am thankful for growth and healing.

and i let go

of what this day used to mean
to throw open my arms and
 accept that now EVERY day
can be special
in its own right