Day 27
and that God has used me as an instrument of healing in the lives of others...
I
was just reading through some threads on a site for those healing from loss,
about how stressful the Holidays
can be for so many people
who are just struggling to make it through their days after experiencing loss,
and thought I might share an idea...
it starts as a story.
Years ago,
I was a retail display stylist who offered holiday decorating services
for corporate clients and executive homes. Through an existing client,
an older woman found me, and shared that three years earlier, her beloved husband had died after a long
battle with cancer. Then her mother moved in with her, and over the
following year declined in health and eventually passed away. Almost
immediately, her older brother died suddenly. The year after that was
one of great grief for her, and she did not celebrate any
holidays. Her family consisted of a niece who lived states away, and one
remaining brother from whom she was estranged.
She felt alone,
surrounded by silence and sadness.
Then she went to a store and
saw me and my design partner decorating Christmas trees, and suddenly
had an idea... SHE was unable to unpack her many boxes of decor, and to
put up a tree. It was too emotional for her - the last time she had done
it, her husband had been alive.
But she could HIRE someone who could take charge of the task, and help her get over this emotional hurdle!
And she did - she hired me on the spot.
I went the first year and dug her boxes out of the garage, opened them under her supervision, and listened to her tell a story about every.single.ornament inside those boxes. This one had been bought on the trip there, and that one was a gift from a friend... hundreds of ornaments, hundreds of stories. When I opened the boxes that held antique ornaments, she cried - and shared with me that they had been her mother and grandmother's ornaments (from the 1800's!) and that they were among her most treasured possessions. We put them in the most prominent places on her tree... and she smiled.
She SMILED! She had eyes filled with tears, but the look of a delighted child on her face as she looked at the decorated and lit tree, sparkling and twinkling in her living room. It brought her home - and HER - back to life. She hugged me harder than I knew a little old lady could, and thanked me for 'bringing joy back into this house'. I told her that it was her love for her husband, and mother, and brother that had done that - that I was just a pair of hands to help her.
And then she said the words that will stay with me forever:
"No, my dear. YOU are the angel that God sent to me, to help me heal. You are His Hands. His Heart."
But she could HIRE someone who could take charge of the task, and help her get over this emotional hurdle!
And she did - she hired me on the spot.
I went the first year and dug her boxes out of the garage, opened them under her supervision, and listened to her tell a story about every.single.ornament inside those boxes. This one had been bought on the trip there, and that one was a gift from a friend... hundreds of ornaments, hundreds of stories. When I opened the boxes that held antique ornaments, she cried - and shared with me that they had been her mother and grandmother's ornaments (from the 1800's!) and that they were among her most treasured possessions. We put them in the most prominent places on her tree... and she smiled.
She SMILED! She had eyes filled with tears, but the look of a delighted child on her face as she looked at the decorated and lit tree, sparkling and twinkling in her living room. It brought her home - and HER - back to life. She hugged me harder than I knew a little old lady could, and thanked me for 'bringing joy back into this house'. I told her that it was her love for her husband, and mother, and brother that had done that - that I was just a pair of hands to help her.
And then she said the words that will stay with me forever:
"No, my dear. YOU are the angel that God sent to me, to help me heal. You are His Hands. His Heart."
And that's the truth of it... I am His
hands. So are you. We all are. Helping others is a gift - for them, AND
for us.
Because she was brave enough to ask me, and I was undeterred by
her sorrow and accepted, this sweet lady is now one of my dearest
friends. She has helped and supported me as I have walked this path of
loss and pain - one that she knows all too well. I decorated her home each
holiday season for seven years, and heard many stories and memories as
she walked through her own healing process right in front of my eyes. And I know without a doubt
that it was her courage to get those Christmas ornaments out - however
she could - that opened the door to her healing. We talk on the phone as often as possible, now that I no longer live in Seattle.
[I wrote about my friend and her 'Tree of Life' here on Hummadeedledee years ago, and shared that story over on my HOMEWARDfound blog last December.]
[I wrote about my friend and her 'Tree of Life' here on Hummadeedledee years ago, and shared that story over on my HOMEWARDfound blog last December.]
If you can't
face the Holidays this year, if you are stuck and lost and saddened because you
can't 'get' the Holiday spirit because you just can't face those boxes -
then I suggest that you do what my friend did, and find someone to help you with the task. Hire someone, ask a
relative, ask a friend, but find a way to get a tree in your home....or
lights on the house, or whatever it is that says 'Holiday' to you and will 'put the joy back' in your home - and your eyes.
We must choose joy. Even in the face of pain and loss. We must celebrate the life we have to live, and in doing so, celebrate and honor the
people and former lives we love and have lost.
oI wish you all a meaningful, beautiful, and peaceful Holiday Season...
including Thanksgiving, Hannukah, Kwaanza, Ramadan, Christmas, and New Year
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