I've had several people tell me that they were REEEEEEEALLY worried about me, that all of my postings and hoping and expecting to get the Disney job were going to fall through, and then my hopes would be dashed. I knew that possibility existed - of course it did! When every job posting at Disney gets literally THOUSANDS of applications, the odds are low!
But I also knew that when everything happened so quickly to get me that first interview (within four hours, on one day) and then both in-person interviews went as well as they did, and the way things were phrased when I was interviewed, I just KNEW that God was in control of this whole situation. I had no doubt that even if Disney did not hire me for this particular position, something else was going to happen.
Because doors that are so very hard to open do not just fly open without a reason -
without God making it happen.
I felt stuck in 'the hallway of life' for a long time, looking at closed doors and being scared to open one... scared to dream again, or hope for anything. But I saw a shimmer of light under the door at the end of that long hallway, and it reminded me that I had to be brave and grab the doorknob myself. I had to TRY. I had to risk the one last dream I have had in my heart. And I had to have faith that it COULD turn out positively. So when the job was posted, I submitted my application. And when I DID that, the door did not stay closed - it swung wide open. Instantly.
Just three weeks and two days later, I got the job, and my dream came true!
I started that new job at the Disneyland Resort this past weekend... and I am LIVING MY DREAM!
For some, that's just 'wishful thinking'.
For me, it's simply realizing that it is far easier and far more enjoyable to EXPECT THE BEST OUTCOME in life - instead of always expecting the worst possible thing to happen. (I did that for far too long...) Instead of thinking that good things can't happen, won't happen - or won't happen for ME, because of past experiences - I chose to believe that good things could and would happen. And they did!
Learning to just have faith is one of my biggest lessons in life. My dream was not too small for God to care about... nothing is! I will never again be ashamed of my faith, of my belief in a BIG GOD who can do BIG THINGS! He has seen me through the hard stuff, and now He has shown me that my life can be good and joyful again.
My faith was not in me, or in the Walt Disney Company...my faith was in my God.
That He could open the doors and direct my path and get me to that place if that's where He wanted me to be.
All I had to do was believe - and grab that doorknob.
If your life, your dreams, are in a dark place right now... if you have no hope and no faith and can see no reason to believe in anything, can I just ask you one question ???
What do you have to lose by believing that God loves YOU?
If you feel like your life is over, like you are worthless and damaged beyond repair, like everything that means anything to you has been stripped away.... if you feel like you are stuck in a basement or an endless hallway of closed doors.... then know this: I felt that way, too. I know that searing pain and drowning sorrow, that hopelessness. I wanted to die, because the pain of the loss of the people I loved most and the dreams in my heart was so overwhelming. I didn't know who I was without them. So I thought I was worthless and unworthy.
But a very smart woman said to me (at least 450 times, in phone calls every day for almost two years straight...) "For those who love God, and seek His purpose in their lives, He will make ALL THINGS work together for their good. ALL THINGS. His Glory will shine through it all in the end. He loves you SO MUCH that He won't leave you in this place of suffering!" (Romans 8:28, Lori's version) I just had to start to believe that what she was telling me was true. And slowly, I began to. Over the last two and a half years, I have learned all over again what faith is. Who God is. HOW MUCH HE LOVES ME.
He loves YOU, too.... and it doesn't matter what you've done in your past.
(um, mine includes abortion. premarital sex. heck, I was a RESULT of premarital sex! being fearful and not doing the right thing for my children MANY times, and allowing things to continue that I never should have allowed. being ashamed to say 'I believe in Jesus. I love God. I need God.' God has forgiven me, and He still loves me. despite my past. despite my failings. despite my lack of faith so many times.)
To quote a line in a song, "Not because of who I am, but because of what You've done. Not because of what I've done, but because of who You are...."
Oh, yes, I believe. I most definitely believe!
1 comment:
Beautiful post! Love you girl! God IS gracious to us, isn't He?
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