Moments of Grace

Gratitude Journal . Week #15

two weeks ago i began this e-course from kelly rae roberts.

okay, wait..... i can't even start THERE.... i have to go farther back....

i met kelly rae roberts at BarnHouse, the FABULOUS vintage show 

held by the charming BarnHouse Boys every July in Battle Ground, Washington.

i was lucky enough to be invited to be a vendor at their show (i cried when they asked. seriously.)
and as i shared in this post waaaaay back in 2009 after my first show there,

they helped me find my tribe.
AND my truth.

so, fast-forward a year, to the hot july day in 2010 

that a group of charming happy beatific-faced girls come floating into my booth.

kelly rae roberts was one of them. 

of COURSE i knew who she WAS, because i read her blog!

she truly astounded me with her 'joie de vivre'.

this woman BEAMS!

i liked her immediately!
anyone who calls themselves a 'possibilitarian' has my attention ;0) 

and then and there, i decided that as soon as i could, i would sign up for her e-course.

the problem was that dear deb was still acting like old deb,

 letting everything under the sun distract her from what was important to her:

there was never 'enough time' because i was too busy working as hard as i could to survive.

there was never 'enough money' - and that's the barenaked truth.

there was never 'enough silence' in my days or heart or mind to concentrate on any one thing,

because there was always another drama waiting to explode all over the landscape of my life

 so i excused away all of the reasons why i COULDN'T take her course 'yet'.

i call bullsh!t.

yes, i do.

i had myself believing that i just wasn't WORTH IT.

i wasn't worth the time, the effort, the money, the commitment.

i wasn't worth the idea that i could make my dreams come true or reach my goals.

i was being told that every damn day of my life and i believed it. 

i had forgotten who i was and what i loved to do
so i just kept plugging along working myself to death from stress

and told myself that maybe 'someday' i'd be able to take the course.

someday came two weeks ago. 

i read her announcement on her blog that this was the LAST time she'd offer the e-course

and i clicked that 'register now' button without even thinking.

well, actually, i DID think.

i thought 'oh NO, i am NOT missing out on this!!!'

and because God has moved mightily in my life

and put money in my bank account for me to pay my bills with,

i was able to click, register, and PAY FOR IT

without one . single . excuse . rearing its ugly head.

when my password arrived, i went to the class site, logged in

and breathed a huge sigh of joy and peace.

i spent the first three days of the course floating on a little cloud!!!

i was excited, i was ready, i was prepared...

but with the huge pumpkin makin' project i was embroiled in for two weeks,

(making and packaging and shipping nearly 400 of my Original Sweet Sweater Pumpkins in 12 days!)

i was falling a bit behind on the daily readings, journaling, and comments in the facebook group.

and i started stressing out about that.

 which was dumb, because the material is meant to be accessed and used when we can do it.

but on Saturday, i relaxed and logged on and read every post again.

i wrote in my journal, i made notes, i listed goals, 

i read the facebook group posts and the comments there,

and gathered up some supplies for a personal art project.

Sunday, i plan to do more of the same.

i can't tell you how this has opened my eyes, my heart, my soul.

kelly and the women whom she interviews and introduces as part of the course

have SO MUCH to share...

and God BLESS them for sharing it.

being a creative person is hard work

i know a lot of people don't think so, 

and most non-creatives don't realize that creativity can't be turned on like a light switch

(especially if you are living a very stressed life, which i am thankfully NOT doing anymore)

i am willing to DO the hard work to advance my creativity and my business

but it can be a lonely road.

i am just so encouraged and buoyed up by the things that kelly 

and my fellow 'fliers' are sharing about their journeys.

i feel understood. i feel equal. i feel supported.

just like the BarnHouse Boys did for me, 

kelly rae has helped me find my tribe

and they are helping me to find my creative truth

  [all artwork shown in the image above is by kelly rae roberts]